Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
My Yoga Practice
Warning: sensitive readers may find some language in this post offensive.
Part 1
My practice Saturday morning was difficult. Actually, that’s sort of an understatement. My mind rebelled. I didn't...want...to do it.
Surya Namaskara A: Inhale arms up, all is going well. Exhale forward fold, inhale monkey pose, exhale plank. Pause. Muscles tighten, jaw clenches. Curse the practice. Remember to breathe. Exhale, lower down, inhale cobra. Despair. Exhale downward dog. Hold for five breaths; resist the urge to pound the floor and throw a tantrum. Inhale step the feet forward, monkey pose. Exhale fold. Inhale up to standing, use all available effort to keep from throwing something across the room. Samastitihi*. Gratitude for the practice.
Repeat three times.
Pause. Breathe.
Surya Namaskara B. The body is alternately limp like a rag doll and rigidly tense. Throw several mild tantrums along the way, but manage to muscle through.
Pause. Surrender. This is the practice. Forward fold. Child’s Pose. Supta Virasana. Then get up and make coffee. No rest.
Part 2
Driving to the auto shop…the driver behind me became irate. I probably could have made the left turn, but didn’t. I believe this upset her. When the light changed and I came to the next stop, Angry Lady pulled up beside me.
ME: What’s the problem?
AL: You’re a stupid bitch!
ME: Oh?
AL: Yeah, you stupid bitch!
ME: Hmm. (pause) You’re a beautiful person.
AL: Yes I am! You stupid bitch!
Hard to say if there’s any connection between my anger-infused yoga practice and the anger directed at me just a few hours later. But it did make me think: was my resistance to and frustration with my yoga practice any less ridiculous than Angry Lady’s outburst towards me? We were both acting out emotions that had little to do with the circumstance in which they arose.
Just as I had to laugh at Angry Lady because her anger was so unnecessary, I am reminded to laugh at my own outbursts and protests. If I can recognize obstacles in life as nothing more than a crummy driver in front of me, then maybe I can respond with patience, and laugh, knowing that the situation will soon change. Even when it doesn't cater to me, the universe is beautiful.
Samastitihi. Gratitude for the practice.
Update
Today, I went to a class. That was the right decision. At times like this, when practice is really hard, it’s better not to leave me to own devices. The energy of the room and the pose-by-pose instruction of the teacher got me through it. With very little resistance. A little joy. And a great Savasana.
*equal standing pose
Part 1
My practice Saturday morning was difficult. Actually, that’s sort of an understatement. My mind rebelled. I didn't...want...to do it.
Surya Namaskara A: Inhale arms up, all is going well. Exhale forward fold, inhale monkey pose, exhale plank. Pause. Muscles tighten, jaw clenches. Curse the practice. Remember to breathe. Exhale, lower down, inhale cobra. Despair. Exhale downward dog. Hold for five breaths; resist the urge to pound the floor and throw a tantrum. Inhale step the feet forward, monkey pose. Exhale fold. Inhale up to standing, use all available effort to keep from throwing something across the room. Samastitihi*. Gratitude for the practice.
Repeat three times.
Pause. Breathe.
Surya Namaskara B. The body is alternately limp like a rag doll and rigidly tense. Throw several mild tantrums along the way, but manage to muscle through.
Pause. Surrender. This is the practice. Forward fold. Child’s Pose. Supta Virasana. Then get up and make coffee. No rest.
Part 2
Driving to the auto shop…the driver behind me became irate. I probably could have made the left turn, but didn’t. I believe this upset her. When the light changed and I came to the next stop, Angry Lady pulled up beside me.
ME: What’s the problem?
AL: You’re a stupid bitch!
ME: Oh?
AL: Yeah, you stupid bitch!
ME: Hmm. (pause) You’re a beautiful person.
AL: Yes I am! You stupid bitch!
Hard to say if there’s any connection between my anger-infused yoga practice and the anger directed at me just a few hours later. But it did make me think: was my resistance to and frustration with my yoga practice any less ridiculous than Angry Lady’s outburst towards me? We were both acting out emotions that had little to do with the circumstance in which they arose.
Just as I had to laugh at Angry Lady because her anger was so unnecessary, I am reminded to laugh at my own outbursts and protests. If I can recognize obstacles in life as nothing more than a crummy driver in front of me, then maybe I can respond with patience, and laugh, knowing that the situation will soon change. Even when it doesn't cater to me, the universe is beautiful.
Samastitihi. Gratitude for the practice.
Update
Today, I went to a class. That was the right decision. At times like this, when practice is really hard, it’s better not to leave me to own devices. The energy of the room and the pose-by-pose instruction of the teacher got me through it. With very little resistance. A little joy. And a great Savasana.
*equal standing pose
Friday, May 16, 2008
In the weeds
The situation is pretty dire. No, those aren't native grasses. The garden is surrounded by aggressive, fast-growing, fast-spreading weeds. These suckers have taproots a foot in the ground. And they're everywhere. Can anyone out there suggest some plants/grasses that will hold their own in (and eventually overtake) this jungle?
I know some people use a long narrow tool with a snake-tongue at the end to take care of pesky plants. Watch the video to see how we do it here in the hood. I'm thinking this will have to be done on a weekly basis. At least.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The Farm Bill
This isn't exactly top news. I had to search to find it on NY Times. And frankly, I wouldn't have even known about it, had it not been mentioned on NPR. Given the global food crisis and the debate about ethanol (not to mention to local food movement) I think this is an important bill to pay attention to.
Farm subsidies (actual money paid to farmers) have a direct impact on what we eat. If farmers get paid to grow corn, they'll grow corn. If they get paid more for growing more, they'll grow more. In the 1970's the Sec of Agriculture began rewarding farmers who grew single crops (usually corn) in larger and larger amounts. This led to a huge surplus of corn and lower prices. With a plentiful and cheap supply of corn, American innovators kicked into gear and started thinking of new, exciting things they could do with it. Two of the Big Ideas were to process it into High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) and to feed livestock with grain (instead of grass). As I understand it, this is where we are now. A huge amount of the corn grown in this country goes to feed livestock, make ethanol and make HFCS. We are producing more than we ever have, and larger amounts are going to non-nutritional outlets.
The Farm Bill passed yesterday (318-106) in the House with strong bi-partisan support. And Bush seems determined to veto. Typically, if Bush wants to veto the bill, it must be a good bill. But it's hard to unpack this one. For example, Bush's stated reason for the veto is that the subsidies benefit the wealthiest farmers. (Well, gee, I think I agree with Bush on that one.) He also said the bill "resorts to a variety of gimmicks". By this I think he means a $10 billion increase in nutrition programs.
And this is where it gets tricky.
There seem to be a lot of good things in this bill. A good chunk of it goes to feeding the poor through food stamps and other programs. There are rural development and land conservation programs. Overall, it's probably a good bill. But it doesn't appear to change the subsidy system. While I think farmers absolutely should get assistance from the government, I think we can be a little smarter about it.
From Michael Pollan's cleverly titled article last fall:
"Americans have begun to ask why the farm bill is subsidizing high-fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils at a time when rates of diabetes and obesity among children are soaring, or why the farm bill is underwriting factory farming (with subsidized grain) when feedlot wastes are polluting the countryside and, all too often, the meat supply. For the first time, the public health community has raised its voice in support of overturning farm policies that subsidize precisely the wrong kind of calories (added fat and added sugar), helping to make Twinkies cheaper than carrots and Coca-Cola competitive with water."
It's no coincidence that fast food and junk food are so cheap. Nutrition programs are necessary only because the government subsidies make the unhealthiest foods the most affordable. So, we're providing economic incentives to produce unhealthy foods and then creating programs to help people to eat healthier. Why not just stop enabling companies to make unhealthy food in the first place? Instead, direct more subsidies to smaller farmers growing diverse crops. Subsidize food that's good for us! Let's be a leaner, meaner and, while we're at it, greener nation!
Same with money for conservation programs. Pollan asks:
"Why does the farm bill pay feedlots to install waste treatment systems rather than simply pay ranchers to keep their animals on grass, where the soil would be only too happy to treat their waste at no cost?"
(There's almost too much to say in response to this. First, cows are not meant to eat corn. If they eat corn, they get sick. And die. That's why we pump them full of antibiotics. So they don't get sick from eating the stuff ranchers feed them. When animals graze, they are also walking around all day. They don't get as fat. If they're in feedlots, they eat and eat and eat and do not move. They get fat faster. They get to market faster. And they get slaughtered before the corn diet kills them. It's economics. And it's bad for us.)
So while there are some good things, I don't think this bill does much to address our food culture/crisis. We expect food to be cheap and easy, but we're not so concerned about quality. Programs aren't what we need. Re-thinking (or, plain old thinking about) the way we eat and produce food is called for.
So, what to do?
Say no to High Fructose Corn Syrup! It'll be hard because it's in everything. Start looking at labels; it's unbelievable.
Say yes to locally-grown, fresh vegetables! They taste better. They use less fossil fuels to produce and ship. It helps smaller farmers.
If you must eat meat, say yes to grass-fed beef! Bill Kurtis does! Or take the not-so-radical step of reducing your meat intake by 20%. It's the environmental equivalent of driving a Prius. Seems hard? You can do it.
After all, you are what you eat.
[ Steps down from soapbox...]
In other news, I'm getting my camera back today. Keep an eye out for photos of garden and dog!
Farm subsidies (actual money paid to farmers) have a direct impact on what we eat. If farmers get paid to grow corn, they'll grow corn. If they get paid more for growing more, they'll grow more. In the 1970's the Sec of Agriculture began rewarding farmers who grew single crops (usually corn) in larger and larger amounts. This led to a huge surplus of corn and lower prices. With a plentiful and cheap supply of corn, American innovators kicked into gear and started thinking of new, exciting things they could do with it. Two of the Big Ideas were to process it into High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) and to feed livestock with grain (instead of grass). As I understand it, this is where we are now. A huge amount of the corn grown in this country goes to feed livestock, make ethanol and make HFCS. We are producing more than we ever have, and larger amounts are going to non-nutritional outlets.
The Farm Bill passed yesterday (318-106) in the House with strong bi-partisan support. And Bush seems determined to veto. Typically, if Bush wants to veto the bill, it must be a good bill. But it's hard to unpack this one. For example, Bush's stated reason for the veto is that the subsidies benefit the wealthiest farmers. (Well, gee, I think I agree with Bush on that one.) He also said the bill "resorts to a variety of gimmicks". By this I think he means a $10 billion increase in nutrition programs.
And this is where it gets tricky.
There seem to be a lot of good things in this bill. A good chunk of it goes to feeding the poor through food stamps and other programs. There are rural development and land conservation programs. Overall, it's probably a good bill. But it doesn't appear to change the subsidy system. While I think farmers absolutely should get assistance from the government, I think we can be a little smarter about it.
From Michael Pollan's cleverly titled article last fall:
"Americans have begun to ask why the farm bill is subsidizing high-fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils at a time when rates of diabetes and obesity among children are soaring, or why the farm bill is underwriting factory farming (with subsidized grain) when feedlot wastes are polluting the countryside and, all too often, the meat supply. For the first time, the public health community has raised its voice in support of overturning farm policies that subsidize precisely the wrong kind of calories (added fat and added sugar), helping to make Twinkies cheaper than carrots and Coca-Cola competitive with water."
It's no coincidence that fast food and junk food are so cheap. Nutrition programs are necessary only because the government subsidies make the unhealthiest foods the most affordable. So, we're providing economic incentives to produce unhealthy foods and then creating programs to help people to eat healthier. Why not just stop enabling companies to make unhealthy food in the first place? Instead, direct more subsidies to smaller farmers growing diverse crops. Subsidize food that's good for us! Let's be a leaner, meaner and, while we're at it, greener nation!
Same with money for conservation programs. Pollan asks:
"Why does the farm bill pay feedlots to install waste treatment systems rather than simply pay ranchers to keep their animals on grass, where the soil would be only too happy to treat their waste at no cost?"
(There's almost too much to say in response to this. First, cows are not meant to eat corn. If they eat corn, they get sick. And die. That's why we pump them full of antibiotics. So they don't get sick from eating the stuff ranchers feed them. When animals graze, they are also walking around all day. They don't get as fat. If they're in feedlots, they eat and eat and eat and do not move. They get fat faster. They get to market faster. And they get slaughtered before the corn diet kills them. It's economics. And it's bad for us.)
So while there are some good things, I don't think this bill does much to address our food culture/crisis. We expect food to be cheap and easy, but we're not so concerned about quality. Programs aren't what we need. Re-thinking (or, plain old thinking about) the way we eat and produce food is called for.
So, what to do?
Say no to High Fructose Corn Syrup! It'll be hard because it's in everything. Start looking at labels; it's unbelievable.
Say yes to locally-grown, fresh vegetables! They taste better. They use less fossil fuels to produce and ship. It helps smaller farmers.
If you must eat meat, say yes to grass-fed beef! Bill Kurtis does! Or take the not-so-radical step of reducing your meat intake by 20%. It's the environmental equivalent of driving a Prius. Seems hard? You can do it.
After all, you are what you eat.
[ Steps down from soapbox...]
In other news, I'm getting my camera back today. Keep an eye out for photos of garden and dog!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Where's Obama?
I know he wasn't expected to win West Virginia, but I'm starting to get a little nervous. Seems like I've hardly heard or read about Obama lately. Just Hillary. We started this thing with two great (at the time) candidates and now we've got an invisible front runner and second place She-Bush dominating the news. I don't know what he needs to do to get people to vote for him, but he better get cracking. I'm not keen on an election decided by superdelegates. Please Obama, prove to us that the good guy can win. Win big. Win unambiguously.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Happy to be home
I never thought I would say this, but I couldn't wait to come home and cook dinner tonight. After a weekend of hotel living and restaurant dining, I wanted nothing more than my own cooking. I was appalled at the food in Madison. Not in the hip, college part of Madison (which I'm sure has some great spots), but the strip mall, chain restaurant part of Madison where we stayed. I'll spare the details, but the food -- all of it -- was inedible. I also ate a bag of microwave popcorn. I don't know why. We don't have a microwave at home and I guess I thought it would be a treat. Not a treat, it turns out. I was sick for an hour and felt like I had rocks in my intestines.
So, tonight: a wonderful meal of black beans glazed in beer, with swiss chard, served over basmati rice. I watered the garden as it simmered. I am happy.
Also, good news. The vegetable sprouts did not die while I was away! I had visions of coming home to cracked, dry earth in the beds and sad, drooping plants indoors. But, no! Everything is alive and well! And with Mother's Day behind us, it's safe to plant the rest. As soon as I have time, I'll transplant the indoor sprouts to the beds in the yard and plant the sunflower patch. Then I'll explore the flower seeds that John's friend gave us and plant some in the flower garden. My camera is being repaired at the moment; otherwise you would be seeing photos of said sprouts, some beautiful blooming pink flowers that I did not expect to come back, and of course, my dinner.
So, tonight: a wonderful meal of black beans glazed in beer, with swiss chard, served over basmati rice. I watered the garden as it simmered. I am happy.
Also, good news. The vegetable sprouts did not die while I was away! I had visions of coming home to cracked, dry earth in the beds and sad, drooping plants indoors. But, no! Everything is alive and well! And with Mother's Day behind us, it's safe to plant the rest. As soon as I have time, I'll transplant the indoor sprouts to the beds in the yard and plant the sunflower patch. Then I'll explore the flower seeds that John's friend gave us and plant some in the flower garden. My camera is being repaired at the moment; otherwise you would be seeing photos of said sprouts, some beautiful blooming pink flowers that I did not expect to come back, and of course, my dinner.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Twenty-Two
That's the number of hours that John worked yesterday. 8am to 6am. Five hours of sleep and he's back on the job. Sheesh.
Yoga
I had a long, luxurious two-hour practice today. Saro and I are up in Madison visiting John. And with nothing to do, no obligations, I decided to do a full Primary practice, taking as much time as I needed and not skipping any poses. It was so nice not to have to rush* off somewhere. I lingered in poses that I like and patiently took my time with more challenging poses. I've noticed that when I have a solid daily practice, my balance is strong. After taking a few days off or having shorter practices, I am wobbly in all the standing poses. Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana is a good indicator pose for me. Lots of poses feel more or less the same from day to day, with subtle variations. But when my practice is strong, UHP feels effortless and fun and when I'm feeling weak, it is absolutely torture. I fell out of this pose several times on each side today. But no worries; plenty of time.
I often skip over some poses to shorten the practice a little bit. Prasarita Padottanasa D, Janu Sirsasana C, Supta Kurmasana (because I'm not even close to being able to do it), and Marichyasana D. I never attempt a bind in Marichyasana D on my own. But today, I thought: I know my body can do this pose because I've been assisted into it. So, just for kicks, I used a strap, and lo and behold, my hands were about 5 inches apart. That's darn close to a bind. My jump-throughs are getting a little better too. I'm starting to see how the bandhas work. I don't have much control, but I can sort of imagine how it works.
*A friend is subbing my Sunday night class and I thanked him, telling him that it'll be nice to go away for the weekend and not have to rush home to teach. He said, don't rush there either. Nice reminder.
I often skip over some poses to shorten the practice a little bit. Prasarita Padottanasa D, Janu Sirsasana C, Supta Kurmasana (because I'm not even close to being able to do it), and Marichyasana D. I never attempt a bind in Marichyasana D on my own. But today, I thought: I know my body can do this pose because I've been assisted into it. So, just for kicks, I used a strap, and lo and behold, my hands were about 5 inches apart. That's darn close to a bind. My jump-throughs are getting a little better too. I'm starting to see how the bandhas work. I don't have much control, but I can sort of imagine how it works.
*A friend is subbing my Sunday night class and I thanked him, telling him that it'll be nice to go away for the weekend and not have to rush home to teach. He said, don't rush there either. Nice reminder.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
In other words....yoga
This article in the NY Times talks about habits:
...don’t bother trying to kill off old habits; once those ruts of procedure are worn into the hippocampus, they’re there to stay. Instead, the new habits we deliberately ingrain into ourselves create parallel pathways that can bypass those old roads.
But they might as well have been talking about yoga.
From Desikachar's Heart of Yoga:
The conditioning of the mind that lets it continually take the same direction is called samskara....Through yoga we attempt to create new and positive samskara rather than reinforcing the old samskara that has been limiting us. When this new samskara is strong and powerful enough, the the old, distressing samskara will no longer be able to affect us.
back to the Times story: Ms. Ryan and Ms. Markova have found what they call three zones of existence: comfort, stretch and stress. Comfort is the realm of existing habit. Stress occurs when a challenge is so far beyond current experience as to be overwhelming. It’s that stretch zone in the middle — activities that feel a bit awkward and unfamiliar — where true change occurs.
Again, from Heart of Yoga: When we practice asanas we carry out actions that are not determined so much by our habits, and yet still lie within the range of our abilities. We are no longer so bound by our habits.
Christopher Isherwood and Swami Prabhavananda also write about samskaras in their commentary on the Yoga Sutras:
Expose the mind to constant thoughts of anger and resentment, and you will find that these anger-waves build up anger-samskaras, which will predispose you to find occasions for anger throughout your daily life....Let us never forget, however, that just as a sandbank may shift and change its shape if the tide or the current changes, so also the samskaras may be modified by the introduction on other kinds of thought-waves into the mind.
So, there you have it. From ancient India to the NY Times, experts agree. We can't get rid of our old/bad habits, but we can introduce new, better habits by moving outside of our comfort zone. With persistence and practice, you can teach an old dog new tricks.
...don’t bother trying to kill off old habits; once those ruts of procedure are worn into the hippocampus, they’re there to stay. Instead, the new habits we deliberately ingrain into ourselves create parallel pathways that can bypass those old roads.
But they might as well have been talking about yoga.
From Desikachar's Heart of Yoga:
The conditioning of the mind that lets it continually take the same direction is called samskara....Through yoga we attempt to create new and positive samskara rather than reinforcing the old samskara that has been limiting us. When this new samskara is strong and powerful enough, the the old, distressing samskara will no longer be able to affect us.
back to the Times story: Ms. Ryan and Ms. Markova have found what they call three zones of existence: comfort, stretch and stress. Comfort is the realm of existing habit. Stress occurs when a challenge is so far beyond current experience as to be overwhelming. It’s that stretch zone in the middle — activities that feel a bit awkward and unfamiliar — where true change occurs.
Again, from Heart of Yoga: When we practice asanas we carry out actions that are not determined so much by our habits, and yet still lie within the range of our abilities. We are no longer so bound by our habits.
Christopher Isherwood and Swami Prabhavananda also write about samskaras in their commentary on the Yoga Sutras:
Expose the mind to constant thoughts of anger and resentment, and you will find that these anger-waves build up anger-samskaras, which will predispose you to find occasions for anger throughout your daily life....Let us never forget, however, that just as a sandbank may shift and change its shape if the tide or the current changes, so also the samskaras may be modified by the introduction on other kinds of thought-waves into the mind.
So, there you have it. From ancient India to the NY Times, experts agree. We can't get rid of our old/bad habits, but we can introduce new, better habits by moving outside of our comfort zone. With persistence and practice, you can teach an old dog new tricks.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Saro Prana*-meter
(on a scale of 1-10)
Saro’s average energy level: 8 or 9
In the presence of a dog/food/person/bird: 12+
Saro today: 4
I came home Thursday afternoon to a strangely unenthusiastic pooch. He lumbered around and (uncharacteristically) failed to pounce on his dinner bowl. Instead he pawed at the bowl and looked sad. I took him to the vet where he perked right up and (characteristically) showered the doctor with kisses and hugs. All seemed well, so we came back home with instructions to keep an eye on him. When I had to carry him down the stairs Friday morning, I knew I was not going away for the weekend as planned, and we headed back to the good doctor. After a long day of waiting for test results, we learned that his white blood cell count is high and he is fighting some sort of infection. Saro spent Friday night at the animal hospital while I fretted alone at home and John worried from afar.
Today, he’s home with a healthy appetite, two different antibiotics and no clear diagnosis. He’s sleeping a lot, but showing some signs of perkiness when we go out for a walk.
This was our first real health scare. The Giardia and Roundworm (in retrospect) seem tame. They affected his poop more than his mood, which was not pleasant, but less heart-wrenching. It’s hard to watch this vibrant, lively creature turn dumpy and droopy. But it's equally amazing to see the spark come back. I've always adored the wag of his tail, his little (barely containable) show of enthusiasm when the leash comes out or his food is being served. Seeing it now is reassuring.
*life force
Saro’s average energy level: 8 or 9
In the presence of a dog/food/person/bird: 12+
Saro today: 4
I came home Thursday afternoon to a strangely unenthusiastic pooch. He lumbered around and (uncharacteristically) failed to pounce on his dinner bowl. Instead he pawed at the bowl and looked sad. I took him to the vet where he perked right up and (characteristically) showered the doctor with kisses and hugs. All seemed well, so we came back home with instructions to keep an eye on him. When I had to carry him down the stairs Friday morning, I knew I was not going away for the weekend as planned, and we headed back to the good doctor. After a long day of waiting for test results, we learned that his white blood cell count is high and he is fighting some sort of infection. Saro spent Friday night at the animal hospital while I fretted alone at home and John worried from afar.
Today, he’s home with a healthy appetite, two different antibiotics and no clear diagnosis. He’s sleeping a lot, but showing some signs of perkiness when we go out for a walk.
This was our first real health scare. The Giardia and Roundworm (in retrospect) seem tame. They affected his poop more than his mood, which was not pleasant, but less heart-wrenching. It’s hard to watch this vibrant, lively creature turn dumpy and droopy. But it's equally amazing to see the spark come back. I've always adored the wag of his tail, his little (barely containable) show of enthusiasm when the leash comes out or his food is being served. Seeing it now is reassuring.
*life force
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